Monday, June 26, 2017

First Day At the Lake

Dave gently woke me this morning, pulling me from the wildest and most vivid dream. He was interested in breakfast at Mrs. Wonderful's Marmalade Cafe. I, of course, had to detail my dream for him before I would consider the idea. But of course the the prospect of Mrs. Wonderful's got me right up and ready to head out the door. There have been a lot of days like this recently (where I pop up and out the door without so much as a by your leave), and I really must start making time to shower. Everyone would appreciate it.

So a blueberry scone and an iced coffee for me and a breakfast sandwich for Dave at Mrs. Wonderful's, and then it was back home to spin! After yesterday's marathon design day for the bed on the computer, I determined to stay off the computer as much as possible today, and not to work on the bed at all. The creative part of my brain needed a break. Spinning is great when you want to turn your brain off.

This afternoon I took the girls out to the family property on Finley Point. This is the first time we've been there since I sold my half of it to my uncle, and it felt very odd. As we were going down the drive to the cabin I spotted the pine tree where the ashes of everyone in the family who has died have been spread. Even our beloved pet's ashes have been laid to rest there. This summer I will place my mother's ashes there, and I will have no more claim to the place. It is unsettling to have severed my connection to my Mom's final home.

My grandparents bought the lake property in 1965. Originally they had a mobil home there, and later Grandpa built a cabin next to it that they planned to use for guests and laundry. The laundry part never got hooked up (there was a washer but either never a dryer or never a dryer that was hooked up). Some time after they both died and my parents took over stewardship of and a half interest in the property. The mobil home was eventually hauled off leaving just the cabin. After Mom died, I held onto my share of it for just over a year, and then I decided to let go. My uncle fiercely loves that property, and his memories of it growing up are much more vivid than mine. He is eight years older than I am, and he was already a teenager when his parents bought it. He went there every weekend while I spent a lot of my formative weekends camping on the side of the Loch Sa river just over the border in Idaho.

Even so, it was hard for me there today realizing I had no more connection to it. It is not my place anymore--as it was when my mother owned half of it or after she died and I owned half of it. It is not mine, nor will it ever be my child's. It is Ed's and will be his children's. It was a bittersweet day for all of that. I hope subsequent visits will be less emotional for me--especially since I need to clear out the metal storage building on the property where my parents stored a lot of their things.

* I realized as I went to add the photos I took today to this post that I had a bunch of Gallifrey, and none of the girls! I'll work on that for later in the week. For now, It's time to head exhausted to bed, ready to rise in the morning and get my tooth fixed!


lynneUSA said...

Sending hugs, think of it more as a new chapter rather than the end of the story

Bill said...

Have they no dentists in Austin? Will you shower prior to visiting your dentist? The public wants to know!

Brenda Griffith said...

I showered, washed my hair, and brushed my teeth and everything!

Bill said...

You're the best!

Brenda Griffith said...

Thank you Lynne. We still have my parents' house in Polson so there is a tie there--though not to my grandparents. I was sad when my uncle and my mom sold my grandparents' house in Missoula. I have driven by it and love what the family that lives there have done, but I still dream of it often and in the dream I live there.