Coffee in the New York skyline mug, "Losing My Religion" by R.E.M. on iTunes. I am losing any vestiges of objectivity I might have had. In this one shining moment of clarity I truly believe they are not out to get me; I am just paranoid. I don't even have any excuse or reason for feeling like this. The answer is probably lithium, but I'm not going to go there.
So far in the past 12 hours I have had little breakdowns about the edits by the senior editor to the book, the title given to book (without even running it by me), the portraits of me I had taken by a photographer for the book jacket, and my booth placement at the ACRE show. The copy editor had to hold my hand and pass Kleenex through the phone (metaphorically, of course) to get me through my upset over the edits; she and my husband both reassured me that the title is perfect (The Beginner's Guide to Kiln-formed Glass); I think I look like Ann Richards in two of the portraits--it's the neck darling--and fat in the rest, Dave thinks they are all beautiful; and I was sure the ACRE people had moved me yet further down my row since the BMAC and Jeff was no longer next to me, and it turns out we are exactly where we were.
Now at halfway through the first cup of coffee, lucidity and clarity no longer optional for the day, I take a deep breath and prepare to read the rest of the book with an OPEN MIND. Not so open that everything inside leaks out, but an open mind and some semblance of balance will go a long way to keeping me out of a straight jacket today. My greatest regret is that my husband was in an incredibly relaxed, happy mood this morning and my little neuroses just shredded it.
Breathe. (Make a little) "Birdhouse In Your Soul" by They Might Be Giants is on iTunes as I close his post. I choose to take it as an omen.