Good-bye Portland

I sit in Rogue Ales Public House in the Portland airport waiting for my flight. I have a big glass of Rogue Irish lager to my right (for which I am getting surreptitious scandalized glances from a woman at the next table... or is it envy as she sips her diet Coke?) and a cup of Harry's beer cheese soup to my left. Yes, it's only 10:30 am here, but it's 1:30 pm in Atlanta and I am preparing. Bullseye Breakfast of Artisans!

I have loved my time here. In part it was due to the innate beauty and grace of Portland herself and the Oregonians (both native and adopted) who inhabit her, in part it was because of the reason for my visit--Steve Brown's workshop and BECon, but the main reason I had *such* a lovely time was getting to stay with Cynthia Morgan. I swear we are twins separated at birth! Now I need to figure out a way to get her out to Atlanta to play around in my studio.

In a few minutes I will get on the plane with my little canvas bag chock full of Made In Oregon souvenirs (and two jars of homemade pickled beets from the farmer's market tucked into my suitcase) and head back to the heat and the bustle that is Siyeh Studio. I will miss the peace, quiet and reflective time I have had here. And I'll really miss my twin.

Art For Me!

Marietta Old Vine Red Lot Number 54 and Van Morrison's "Wild Night" on the radio playing through the restaurant--the restaurant being Tomaselli's Pastry Mill and Cafe in Elkton, OR across the street from the Elkton Cash Market and kitty-corner from the Brandborg Winery. My pizza has a chipotle-peanut butter BBQ sauced chicken, red and green peppers, and jalapenos on it... Can you say SPICY? It also has an amazing crust.

I promised a post on my upcoming artistic endeavors, and it's time to deliver. The summer looms (I whine my perennial "where did the spring go" lament) and I am staring down the barrel of orders, the BMAC, shuttling back and forth to Montana to help my Mom prepare her house for sale, and, oh yes, adding new work to my studio practice (yep, I've whole-spleenedly embraced that phrase)...

I have been trying to set-up regular casting in the studio since I got back from the last BECon and Linda Ethier's wonderful casting workshop. I have not succeeded. I have passionately talked a good game and enthusiastically encouraged other artists to provide me with their work (or rather, wax models of their work as they normally carve stone or sculpt clay to cast in pewter or bronze) which I would then render in glass. But who has had time? Not me. I am hoping that my upcoming visit to Hugh McKay's Cast Glass Forms foundry with Cynthia with rekindle the zest and sharpen my laser focus on casting.

Even more compelling to me right now than casting, however, is to continue my explorations of creating 3-D glass forms from glass powder cradled in clay powder and laid down on the kiln shelf through a series of screens--the lo-tech 3-D printing I learned in Steve Brown's workshop. Think of it as dry silkscreen printing over and over in the same spot until it's really, really thick. This is work I could easily do with a bag of clay powder, a kiln shelf, some mullite dams, a bunch of glass powders and a kiln. Oh yes and some screens (which I have from my class) sieves, sifters and brushes. It seems like a lot, but unlike lost wax casting, it's a very clean process with none of the messy boiling, spitting water from a wallpaper steamer melting out wax from a mold. A table, a box of dust masks, a little hand broom and dustpan and I'm good to go!

So how am I going to accomplish new work this post-BECon when I failed so ignominiously before? Heh. I am going to run away. I mentioned previously that I am going to Montana a bit this summer. The truth is that I am spending the bulk of the summer there, and there isn't a glass studio. Yet. I am looking forward to beginning one this year. For the present I am not going to try to do my current production work. Instead, I want to set up a medium-sized kiln and work in casting with traditional plaster silica molds and the lo-tech 3-D printing described above. I am leaving Judy in charge of the studio in Atlanta, and Lori, Tadashi, Lee, Domenick, Amy, and Brian will keep the studio running smoothly without me. No equipment will break, nothing outside of the usual course of business will happen, there won't be any art emergencies where a client needs some thing RIGHT NOW... Well, I can dream, can't I?

I promised Dave that when I turned 50 I would SLOW DOWN. It's time to make good on that promise, and stepping away from the Atlanta studio a bit (and setting up a Montana studio) is a good start. Really. Did I mention I am completely obsessed with this screen/powder technique?

BECon and Artists

Champagne in a lovely highball glass (for breakfast! with toast!), French press coffee with lots of cream in a mug next to it, and the rising and falling conversation of Tadashi and Morganica (Cynthia Morgan) for my music. BECon 2011 is over. My batteries are refilled to the bursting--as is my spleen... (appendix? Liver? Heart? What organ is the creative seat of the body?) I don't know from where the creative juices flow, but they have welled and filled every nook and cranny in my body and I need to get home and let them out. Thank you Steve Royston Brown.

The workshop I took from Brown was incredible. Even though my second and third pieces did not turn out (incorrect firing schedules--not enough heat so the middles of each piece [made of glass powder] stayed powder and crumbled to dust when I de-molded them) I am completely inspired to continue this body of work when I return to my own studio practice (more on studio practice in a minute) next week.

Who am I kidding?!? When I get back to the studio I am going to dive head-first into orders, work for both the wholesale and retail portions of the BMAC show in Baltimore, running a teaching studio, selling glass and tools, managing a hotshop, setting up a second hotshop/casting studio, having glass date nights, scheduling torchwork beadmaking classes, and managing employees... Making art. *snort* Like I have time for *that*! (But I will, and I'll tell you how tomorrow. Promise. I'm going to take a page from Cynthia's book and write tomorrow's post now--as soon as I finish this one--and schedule it to run tomorrow. Heh. Now more about, well, being an artist.)

I have retreated to Morganica's red leather couch with the heather purple knitted throw her mother made over my legs. It's time to really post. The problem with not posting for a month... er, two months(!) is that if I don't post, it means a LOT is happening that is worth posting about, and the task of getting it all documented may be critically important (at least to me), but it is also physically impossible. Life doesn't stand still just so I can catch up. But I am in charge. I am the adult (snicker). I'm going to jump around a bit and not worry about chronology. Linear order be damned--it may be how things happen, but it doesn't have to be how we think about them, remember them, or chronicle them.

Though I just wrote that life doesn't stand still, today, for me, I am making it do just that. I am ruthlessly avoiding any external stimuli. I don't want to talk to anyone. I don't want to meet anyone. I don't want to see anyone else's work or studio or learn about their technique. Today is a day to process everything I took in over the last week and figure out a way to ease it into my own studio practice. See? I now have a studio practice. All the presenters at BECon talked about their practices. For a couple of moments I thought I was at a medical convention, but then I, too, became taken by the imagery of an artistic practice. Hopefully less than doctors (really, hopefully) we actually are all practicing all the time.

I am also not an artist, I'm a "maker" (the other term used by all the presenters)--which is great because I can't quite get my skin around being an "artist"--even after an hour lounging on Morganica's entryway floor last night floor passionately debating what is art and do I do it with her and Tadashi. I woke up this morning with the strong, clear thought that I am an artist. Then I got over it. I don't create just to convey a message or make a statement, and I have a problem with complete lack of utility. Sure, some of my makings are entirely decorative and not at all utilitarian, and I look forward to creating new work that is just as useless but edgy rather than decorative. But whatever I make needs to engage more than the brain through the eyes. I need it to have a touch--a coolness, a softly catching slipperiness, a weight. I need it to change in different lights and contexts.

Like an artist, I want my work to provoke a response upon first sight and to continually engage the viewer/toucher. But unlike many artists I have met, I am thrilled with the the response being a completely unintellectual reaction of "how beautiful!". Someone wanting to hold and touch my work and to pass it through different lights is the reaction I am usually working to provoke. I don't often want my work to be just a touchstone to provoke an emotional response from the viewer based on his/her philosophical/religious/cultural response. I am not looking to change the world with every (heck, maybe not any) piece I create. It is more important to me to comfort and nurture than it is to shock. Don't get me wrong--I might do work to provoke and shock too, but, if that's all I did, it would simultaneously exhaust me and bore me to tears.

There were many artists presenting at and attending BECon. They came from a variety of backgrounds, though painting was a common thread. They had art degrees--many of the presenters had multiple art degrees and academic credentials. (So many, in fact, that I wondered aloud last night if I should pursue an art degree in order to claim a respectable place in the community. Cynthia and Tadashi vetoed the idea.) The artists were as passionate and high-strung as thoroughbred racehorses and I marveled that the worth-of-work issues (reference "art degrees" above) I have (usually after being around artists) in my self-identified place on the craft side of the art-craft chasm are apparently vastly smaller than those of the artists on the other side.

The people who identify themselves as artists still seem to have as much or more difficulty with their work being accepted by artists in the traditional fine arts media as I do having my work accepted by glass artists. Fortunately for me, it doesn't seem to bother me as much. I was reminded a bit of my time in academia where faculty members used to squabble over the the size of their offices, the number of chairs and windows in said offices, and how they all related to the faculty member's importance in the department. All that said, I am glad to have the title of "maker" to adopt.

Posting?

I have meant to post for the past couple of days, but chatting with Morganica has been all-consuming. My mind is awhirl with ideas, designs and techniques. And now I head off to to Bullseye for my workshop. Later. I'll post later (BE doesn't have open wi-fi in the Resource Center). Later!

Oh Yeah, It's Time To Post!

After maybe the most challenging two weeks in the studio EVER, I am finally back to post. (INSERT NOTE: It is now five days since I started this post so make it the most challenging THREE weeks in the studio ever!) Why has it been challenging? Well for one thing, expansion construction continues apace with the extension on the coldworking room almost finished, the new hotshop done but for electric--and a new in-ground trampoline, raised vegetable garden, cinderblock bog pond and 16'X12' 2'-3' deep pond being added to our backyard next to the studio. The design and construction alone were enough to keep me busy full-time, but I didn't HAVE full-time for them. Nope.

The Chihuly exhibit at the MFAB continues to be very, very good to me. The museum did a normal order for their stores at the BMAC in February requesting 64 pieces for a 4/1 ship. The exhibit opened on 4/7, and they put in a rush order for another 116 pieces for a 4/15 ship. Now one frazzled month later they are up to 665 pieces to be shipped between 4/1 and 5/31--and the exhibit goes through August 7! I begin to be concerned for my summer travel plans to Montana (and the weaving class I was going to take in New Hampshire in June is now right out...).

I already over 100 pieces to ship the first of May from the Buyer's Market (BMAC) show in February--many of them very large. Bertha, Bettina (the big-girl kilns) and I have become very good friends these past few weeks as I have spent every night from 7 pm to 11 or 12 pm with them. I was not alone. My Mom came over every night after dinner for the past week or so and unloaded Bertha and washed and ground the edges (as necessary) on all the newly fused pieces from her so they could g into Bettina for a slump. Dave kept me company and occasionally unloaded Bettina if I hadn't gotten around to it. Jessie swept the studio floors and watered the flowers in the front bed. Judy kept the frit filled and Amy made the morceaux.

Roll-ups have also kept us quite busy at the studio, and it's coming up time to review our paperweight line and plan the colors and designs for the upcoming BMAC. Speaking of the BMAC, the calendar looms: the BMAC is hot on the heels of BECon, which begins (for me) the day after my birthday which is just over two weeks away--right after I get back from Phoenix (where I am now with Mom and J visiting Mom's brother, my uncle Ed--shown here with J). Before the BMAC I need to get two more big orders out, figure out what work I'm going to show and make it, have the roll-ups and paperweights photographed, have postcards made... oh yes, and make a new website for Siyeh Studio (as opposed to Siyeh Glass) for my production work.

I begin to think my 50th year may be my busiest yet!

Has It Really Been Two Weeks?

I need to post quickly before something else explodes or takes a radical detour sideways (too late--everything happened and now it's after 11:00 pm and I'm finally posting!)... It's been a challenging couple of weeks since I last posted. I believe at the time I mentioned a really full life. Hah. I hadn't even begun to see a really full life two weeks ago. NOW I know what a really full life is, and I gotta say, it's not for me. Here are some pics of everything that has physically happened at or around the studio in the past two weeks:

The hotshop before any new construction:














Then after the first few days:















Then when finished (notice the nice deck for datenighters):



























Then there's the new coldworking room expansion which was started and mostly finished in one day:


















And with the new siding, walls and floor up (but with the old interior wall--need to cut that one out still):














Finally, The inside of the new kiln-forming classroom:


















Now I'm tired and need to go to sleep. Another post tomorrow morning I hope).

We Now Pause For Station Identifiction

I love Mondays anymore. I used to be like any other commuter and hate both the thought and the acts of getting in the car, driving to work. and starting another week. Now Monday is still a work day, and I still have a commute (across the backyards though it may be), but the studio is CLOSED. No one is scheduled to work but me. Can you say "regroup"?

I have had the fervid intention to post every day since the year began. Last week, not so successful. Was I slacking? Heck no! I taught three classes--two of them with no preparation as they were not on the calendar and when the participants arrived for their classes I was hip-deep in other projects. But they all three went well. I also finalized the schedule and processed the paperwork for the four (four!) new (new!) studio employees, and Judy left Friday on vacation for two weeks... That Judy keeps the entire studio running has never been more apparent than in the past few days. To add another ring to our circus, Dan our wondermous carpenter came and put the sliding glass doors in between the kiln room and the kiln-forming classroom, and today he was scheduled to begin the coldworking room and hotshop expansions and build the ventilation system for the beadmaking classroom. (I say scheduled as he had car trouble and we had to postpone till tomorrow--Whew!)

But the cherry on top of the whipped cream on top of the triple-scoop sundae that was my full week last week came when the buyer from the Museum of Fine Arts Boston called Thursday afternoon in a panic. I shipped them 66 (66!) pieces on 4/1 which were destined to be split between three of their gift store locations. They had another 50 on order to be shipped today as they currently have a self-curated Chihuly exhibit (Chihuly being the self--not the exhibit) in the Art of the Americas Wing and they thought they might sell some glass art in conjunction with it. Yeah. Uhuh. They put out my work on Tuesday to fill in some empty spots in a location they hadn't planned on putting it, and people grabbed it up like it was on sale in Filene's Basement. My buyer upped her order to *116* pieces on Friday and we pushed back the ship date a day (maybe two). That's why I have been in the studio till midnight every night.

So the Pause For Station Identification... There are so many directions I am going in right now that I am not sure who I am. Am I still a production glass artist? Not really--production time is relegated to the evenings after my "real job". And isn't that a kicker as it's the production work that's bringing in the money to fund everything else right now! Usually it's the day job that pays for the evening's "art". No more. In just over a month I'll be 50 and I STILL don't know who I'll be when I grow up. Nevermind who I want to be--who stands still long enough to think about wanting something? Do or Do Not--there is no Want.

On the plus side, if I died tomorrow no one could say I hadn't lived a really full life!

Adversity, Your Name Is Hotshop

"The mark of your true nature is in the grace with which you face adversity." Thank you Alicia Lomne for the wonderful quote on Facebook this morning.

Yesterday was packed AND challenging for me, as were the two preceding days and as will be today. Yesterday's biggest challenge came in the staff cost of running the hotshop last week with the thermocouple not functioning. When you run a business--no matter how well you run it--there will be weeks you only make a little to bank for the next rainy day, and there will be weeks when you just break even and you're glad to be alive to fight another week. Last week we hemorrhaged money babysitting the thermocouple--It would have cost far less to have just shut the hotshop down rather than to keep it operating sub-optimally.

I keep trying to tell myself that it was a one-off week, hindsight is 20-20, etc., but the reality is that last week hit really hard and we can't have another like it. Period. Not a good day to have to go through when planning a hotshop expansion.

Almost Caught Up!

After two days of post-vacation stress, I am hair-on-fire, full speed ahead. I think I am wearing the very nice people at Olympic Kilns out with me requests for modifications and tweaks to their kilns. I dropped the furnace off yesterday morning to get the thermocouple fixed/replaced and picked up the new bead annealer. Tomorrow I'll take the bead annealer back up to get the doors cut down a little and pick up the furnace. I wish they weren't 40+ miles away, but at least I have the option of going in person and not shipping.

Today is payday in the studio--the first payday with all the new staff. On April 1 we had to switch to a formal bi-weekly pay schedule from having one person bi-weekly and two others whenever-there-was-a-sufficient-amount-due as I have hired *four* more people in the past three weeks! Wheeee! We (the current staff) are excited to be joined by Domenick Peronti, production glassblower and teacher; Amy DeBaets, hotshop assistant (extraordinaire); Lori Schinelli, retail glass manager and kiln-forming instructor; and Tadashi Torii, hotshop manager and lead production artist (for roll-up work we finally get to formally add to our studio offerings). Lee will be the lead teacher in the new expanded space. Brian is still a little lonely up in the beadroom all by himself, but Lee is VERY relieved to be cutting back a bit and giving his knees (and fiery hair) a respite from the 50-60 hour weeks in the hotshop. More info on these wonderful new Siyeh staff Coming Soon to the website (and the newsletter--which is not late unless I call it a quarterly newsletter :-).

In typical how-much-more-can-I-chew fashion, Dan will be in to start the hotshop expansion (a second hotshop off of the first one about half the size of the original) next week, and I'm also going to ask him to expand the coldworking room at the same time. No time like the present! I just hope the payments for the orders I've shipped so far this year start coming in or things could get ugly. Yes, I could have waited to have the money in hand before scheduling the work, but the stars have aligned for getting the new hotshop done NOW and who am I to argue with the stars? Now that I have three glassblowers chomping at the Date Night/lessons/production bit, I need to have a workspace (and work) for them all. Part of the work will be a renewal of roll-up work in the studio. With only one glassblower, we could barely keep up with Date Nights--much less lessons and, far down the line, new production work. But with Domenick and Tadashi--who worked with Johnathan Schmuck doing roll-ups a few years ago and who has produced them for local artists in his own studio since--we are ready to have an entirely new line of work for this summer's BMAC!

Okay, people and projects waiting in the studio, more tomorrow!

Coincidence or Unattributed Inspiration?

I probably wouldn't have even posted today had Bill not sent me this picture from the current Artful Home catalog asking if it reminded me of anything. While no one could ever say it is a copied design, the similarities are striking enough to me that I thought I'd put the work out there for comment. What do you think? Did someone see our Balance piece and say, "Hey, I like that shape! I want to do something like that and call it mine!"?

Today is the ante penultimate day at the beach. Spring break is almost over and we will have to return home to our lives. I have used the time here very productively... to sleep. Yep, I've managed at least 11 hours a day of sleep since we got here last Sunday. I've done a bit of planning and web design work, caught up on date night photo issues and started preparing the next newsletter (already a week late), but mostly I've slept. And as I've slept, I've dreamed. In my dreams I have felt the stirrings of ideas for new designs and a build-up of the energy necessary to realize them. The goal when I get back to the real world (also known as the studio) is to hoard this energy and use it slowly and wisely--no more 17-hour studio days.

Of course, I look at my list of the projects I have awaiting me there and it's depressingly long and diverse--nothing sucks up energy more than a bunch of little to medium projects all requiring development of new skills or reawakening of rusty ones. Give me one or two big projects any day. I have to learn to say "No" to little repairs--especially stained glass ones. I don't even work in stained glass anymore and I am way out of practice.

But worrying about the little things is for after the ultimate (in the sense of last) day at the beach. I'll grumble more next week.

Postscript:

I went a little ways further through the Artful Home catalog and found the work below (the pieces at right are mine). Even more depressing is that this is someone I mentored at the BMAC a few years ago and encourage every time I see him. There were many times he could have said, "Gee, I really like your Pop Art series, I think I'll do something like it!". Am I wrong or petty for thinking he should have?

Over the Hump!

Allow me to explain about the glass studio business. The natural condition is one of insurmountable obstacles on the road to imminent disaster. So what do we do? Nothing. Strangely enough, it all turns out well. How? I don't know. It's a mystery.

I finished in the studio at 11:30 tonight and celebrate with another glass of sauvignon blanc which will undoubtedly be finished before I head up to the shower so I'll have to get another one with which to share the shower steam. It was definitely a two-glass-of-wine day.

Becky the bookkeeper finished up my 2010 books in her Quickbooks 2011 for Windows last evening just in time for my meeting with my accountant this morning. She sent them to me about 9:30 am so I could import them back into my Quickbooks 2009 for Mac (from whence they originated). Already you know this isn't going to end well...

Though I could go on for several scathing paragraphs filled with blistering invective about the absolute ethical impoverishment of the Quickbooks products and Intuit's customer service, it's already all been said (ad nauseum) elsewhere on the web. If they didn't hold all our data hostage, we would have risen up and skinned and eaten every last Intuit employee long ago. Bottom line for me is that after spending *eight hours* trying to get to my own business data (does everyone remember that it is theoretically tax season?), I am still unable to even find out how much I made/lost last year.

Those eight hours were filled with entertaining anecdotes including the story of how I had to upgrade my Mac's OS from Leopard to Snow Leopard (the LAST thing you ever want to hear when you are having an application problem is that you'll need to upgrade your computer's operating system in order to run the version of the application that will fix your problem--especially when it doesn't). They were enlivened by having to spend $174 for a new version of QB for Mac (2011). But the REAL frosting on the experience was Becky being told by pro tech support at Intuit (she PAYS them in order to receive service as an accounting professional--she's not just some schmo [like me] calling in) that we would have to pay $750 for them to expedite them fixing my file which is broken due to a bug in the software. Laugh? Cry? You tell me. Pay $750? I think not.

Now, as I finish my first glass of wine, I am undaunted, of good cheer and stout heart, and slightly more mellow than I was earlier today. I taught a class tonight, unloaded yesterday's monster kilns loads, loaded all four kilns with new fuse loads, and am home in the same day I left the house. It's a Good Thing. Helen, my accountant is meeting me for breakfast Saturday morning at 9:00 to take my finished books and turn them into a business tax return. Becky is lending me her Windows laptop from tomorrow morning through Saturday morning so I can enter my last 2010 data (mileage, expenses paid from personal accounts, etc.) into Quickbooks for Windows prior to dumping the whole mess in Helen's lap.

I should get my glass order in to Bullseye now, but that's going to have to wait till first thing tomorrow. I'm too tigh-tigh. Night all!

Tuesday Was Too Long

It is the cusp of the day. I just got home from getting the last kiln loads in--37 pieces fused today. I shudder to think what time Bertha and Bettina (the big kilns) will be cool enough to unload tomorrow. It'll probably be another late night just because of the timing of the unload. Tomorrow, one last big fuse and the slump loads begin. Thursday is all slump all the time, and Friday we ship.

When all is said and done, I like when Dave is in Austin for these big production pushes. He worries when I start work at 8:30 am and end at 12:30 am with just a couple of hours off in the evening for family time (not that he won't worry now from reading this post). Of course I couldn't do it without my mother here to get the J showered and into bed while I head back to the studio.

So why am I still up when I have to get up at 7:00 to get the J up, pack her lunch, fix her breakfast, and take her to school? I have to transition. I am sipping a glass of sauvignon blanc, and in another line or two I'll carry it upstairs where it and I will share a hot shower. By the end of the shower, it will be gone, and I will be totally relaxed and ready to crash for six short hours. Tomorrow we crest the hump and start the slide to the bottom of the week. Hope I can follow McMurtry's advice in "Ruby and Carlos" and stay off that slippery slope. Night all.

The F-Word

In the old posting style: Coffee in a 1930's diner-style white ceramic mug, a lot of people laughing and talking over "It's All I Can Do" by the Cars in the background. Wow. Is the universe talking to me through music again? Is it telling me (as my mother hinted this morning) that I am already pretty (over)extended and taking on yet another project at this time might not be in my (or my business' or my family's) best interest? But then Annie Lenox comes on singing that "sweet dreams are made of these and who am I to disagree?" and so I must post on about my New Direction. I think it's finally time to bring the F-Word into my business model.

At first (as I wrote before), I didn't think I had anything to offer that would make someone want to F=word with me. So I decided to just write up a little e-how-to instead. But Dave remarked again last night how his boss--a very business-savvy man--thought I just should do the F-word, and for whatever reason, this time the idea really resonated with me. Dave also pointed out that you don't make any money writing about something (unless you're Deepak Chopra). Do or Do Not, but don't waste your time writing about for $10 a copy.

I even have the perfect candidate in mind for my first partner. She talked to me for well over an hour at the BMAC show in February about how to start. Then she called last week to see where I was on the e-how-to as she had been hoping to get it in time for her first anniversary next week. This morning I am going to call and offer her a different sort of deal.

So why has Franchising (Date Night in the Glass Studio) suddenly become so enticing to me? Two reasons: 1) I have finally begun to believe in the uniqueness and value of the business process I have created and the uses of marketing technology that I bring to the table (what's easy and obvious to me ISN'T necessarily to everyone else), and 2) I would happily pay someone else to give me this level of assistance, skill, experience and physical support to get up and running quickly, so it must be worth it.

Now I need to put it all together. What services will we offer? How much will we charge for them, and will it be a flat annual fee or a percentage of bookings? We will need to have a buy-in fee for training and initial materials, but there are advantages and disadvantages to flat fee vs. percentage ongoing. What about equipment? Marketing? Managing the calendar and sign-up? The picture upload system?

__________________________________

Even after over two hours on the phone with my proposed partner I still have more questions than answers. I also have a domain: glassdatenight.com. Now I need a nap.

Doing It For the Money

As I anticipate the great 50 year marker at which I will arrive in a couple of months, I spend increasingly more time introspecting. This morning's epiphany was about Doing It. Why do we Do It, what do we want/need/get out of Doing It, (and I'm sure you're wondering, what IS It)? Most of us know as we're growing up that we're going to have to Do It. We dream about It, we think about what It will be for us and where we want to Do It, and when we picture ourselves Doing It, it's always the most fun and exciting, novel and unique aspects of It that we see--we certainly never see ourselves being bored Doing It (though we often will be).

Our parents encourage us to choose It based on how much we will make Doing It, how much security there is, how much demand for It. They want It to be able to provide for us and our families financially--and, don't get me wrong, financial stability IS important. But when push comes to shove, as it always does, how many of us can really Do It just--or even primarily--for the money? I can't. My spouse can't. Maybe my father did, and he was often miserable--though that brings up another point to address below.

My epiphany was brought on this morning when I ran into a parent from Jessie's school here at Kavarna who works at the school in a parental representative position. She (as always) was full of energy and enthusiasm, zest and focus for her job and the rest of her life. I looked at her as an employer (more on that below) and thought how lucky I would be if I could hire her for the studio. She's educated, articulate, enthusiastic, energetic--and not at all focused on The Money. She couldn't be. Though I don't know how much she makes for the school, I know that if she thought about how many hours she works and how much she makes she would realize that she could Do It at the Publix deli counter and make more money and have more free time for her family than she does now. She doesn't work at the Publix deli counter.

Doing It, aka Working, cannot be about the money you garner from the work. If it were, you would inevitably become dissatisfied and think you are worth more than you are making--the expression of which would undoubtedly make your employer think you were worth less. As I looked at this woman this morning I realized that we do not work because we have to for money, we work because we have to to live. Work enables us to feel worth, participate in a community, exercise our brains, be anchored, have a purpose--in other words, to live.

When we start thinking about how much we're making for our work compared to how much we're working and we begin to feel resentful, it's not about the money--however much we might say it is--it's about the work. Something about the work is not or is no longer meeting our needs. The answer really isn't to ask for a raise. More money for the same work environment is a short term sop that initially makes us feel more self-worth but doesn't address the real problem. The real problem is either that the negative aspects of the job or the job environment outweigh the positives and leave us feeling down at the end of the day, or that we have intrinsic self-worth issues that keep us from being fulfilled and validated external to the job. In the former case a reworking of the job or it's environmental factors (co-workers) might fix the problem, in the latter, a good therapist would be a good start. In both cases, I really don't believe money is the issue.

A physical need for an increase in money may dictate a request for a raise or a job change, but it won't decrease our satisfaction level with our job. Instead we're more likely to regret the change that's being forced upon us by financial responsibility--and we hope we'll be lucky enough to be happy in the next job we have to take based on the remuneration for it.

So why am I thinking as an employer right now? Because we are expanding the studio again and I have been putting together salary and benefit packages for potential employees. I have to balance being fair with how much the studio can afford--and it's made me really think about how much (or in this case little) I make and what that means to me. At the end of the day, it doesn't mean a thing. Dave has always said that he'd code even if no one paid him. If he ever works for a company that goes public or is bought by Google or Amazon resulting in millions of dollars for him, nothing about his relationship with his laptop will change--he'll still be plugged in all day every day writing code. He has to code. It gives him joy that cannot matched by anything else long-term. He would wither and die if he couldn't code anymore.

I own/run a business and am not burdened with paying the mortgage, the property taxes or our household bills--Dave's salary covers those things. So because I don't HAVE to work for a salary does that mean I work less or take it less seriously? It is to laugh (as Mike would say). I work as I work because of who I am, not what I make, and I work damn hard. I am very fortunate that I lucked into Judy, my studio elf, because she is just the same. She attacks every task with zest and verve and joy. I was very, very lucky to have found her (thank you Lori), and I hope I am as lucky in my upcoming hires. If you have an employee whose first question is always "What's in it for me/what's it going to cost me?", no one is going to be happy.

Back to my father for a second. He was not happy to actively miserable in his job for much of his 30 years of service (same job, same office, US Forest Service). He was also not happy in his personal life. Was he unhappy in his job because of the job and therefore unhappy in his personal life because of his job, or was he unhappy because that's the way he was? If it had been the job, I would have expected him to be happier in the 20+ years after he retired, but that wasn't the case. There was always something that made him mad, unhappy or just discontented--illegal immigrants were stealing American jobs, there was favoritism in the ski school (he was also a ski instructor), the environment was being wrecked, Someone Somewhere getting Something they shouldn't have and didn't Deserve... (I feel a rant coming on about being so obsessed with what's fair and right that we miss enjoying what is. No time for that today. Need to stay on topic.) My conclusion is that Dad was who he was and all of his experiences were colored by his own inner unhappiness. His unhappiness did not have external causes--it was internally driven. He could be happy for short bursts by achieving some goal, but every success was doomed to be followed by a failure because of how he felt about himself.

Now back to the upcoming hires and managing the expectations/happiness of current staff. It's Not About the Money! I cannot let myself be convinced that it is. The idea of a level of experience and education being worth a certain amount of money and having that as a driving concern for a prospective employee is going to be an immediate strong negative flag for me. I need to trust that I have been fair because that's who I am. I have to trust that I do the right thing because that's who I am. I have to Trust and stick to my vision because I can't Do It for the money, and I really don't want anyone around me who thinks they need to.

Now, anyone know anyone in the Atlanta area who might be interested in teaching glassblowing, working as a hotshop assistant, or teaching kilnforming/cutting and stocking glass?

It's a Square World

Good morning wet world! It is truly spring in Atlanta. All the cherries, plums, bradford pears, forsythia, and early deciduous magnolias burst into glorious bloom a couple of weeks ago, and now the redbuds are starting to open... and it's raining. I don't mind the rain though, today is a day for getting to studio projects that have languished for too long--repairs, screen-print fuses, and the first round of orders from the BMAC. I'll probably even finish up the bills and supply orders I need to get paid and in (in that order).

A hot topic lately in the small artist world is credit card processing with a Square or similar device. Dave, my uber-geeky-technological-and financial-industry-cred-out-the-wazoo spouse got me one (and even set up the account for me--not that I plan to use it) and got himself one too, who knows why! I don't plant to use it as my card processing needs are more geared to card-not-present scenarios (over the phone, over the web sales), and I also have a high enough credit card sales volume that a real business account with lower rates makes more sense to me.

However I have been following with interest one of the recent debates as to the safety of the square that has been politely raging on Wendy Rosen's Facebook page for the past couple of days. I know (and highly respect) Cynthia personally, and Guy at TeaMac has been my credit card processor for many years. It's worth a look. (And for the record, I, too, would like more hard reputable test data provided and less the-sky-is-falling hyperbole.)

Happy Tuesday!

Hello!

It's been so long since I last posted I have almost forgotten how... I promised a post on the BMAC, but, sadly, I've already forgotten what I was going to say. (There's a lot of forgetfulness going on here.)

The past couple of weeks have been filled with studio and life activity. The new kilnroom is finished, furnished, and I have already taught three days in it. I don't say three classes as the second day was an all-day studio experience for 18 homeschoolers aged 10-15. They divided into groups of six and each group spent two hours with me, Brian and Lee/Becky H. In the Lee/Becky group, they did glassblowing with Lee and read about the history of glassmaking with Becky. It was a wonderful, exhausting day. Last night I had a group of travel planners in town for a workshop who came in and learned some kilnforming, ate pizza, drank wine and made plates. They didn't finish till 10:30 and I am wiped today!

Wiped or no, it's time to get last year's accounting finished so I can get everything to my accountant for taxes (late). It's also time to get the newsletter out with next quarter's class schedule and glass specials. Bullseye is tempting me with a special dealers-only curious sale and it could be a lot of fun to have it to offer it this spring with all the new open studio kilnformers.

Okay, though blogging is fun, it's time to work on the website!

Let 2011 Begin

It's February 23 and the year has finally settled in for me. Hawaii at the end of last year was wonderful, but I came back all discombobulated. Then there was the Week of Weather in Atlanta. Then my father's death. Then rushing to get ready for the BMAC. Now I am back from the show and FINALLY feeling grounded in the new year! It doesn't hurt that the star magnolias and the camellias in our front yard are blooming now and I had my Best Show Ever at the BMAC last week. Really. And it was the best on so many levels--fastest set-up since going to the big booth, made Great New Friends, sang karaoke for the first time ("Call Me" by Blondie--a particularly amusing choice to Todd as he knows how much I dislike talking on the phone), and both my best personal AND best studio sales. I also was tapped by Wendy Rosen to participate in a panel discussion on great outside-the-box ideas for studios and retailers (I presented Date Night). That presentation is now spinning off into an e-document for setting up your own date night--available soon for, oh, probably about $10.

Today I spent some time looking at the little 2/2 house next door to our home (which also backs up to the studio property) which has gone on the market for $62,500. It is a pestilent little pit of a place in which the rats and squirrels have reigned unchecked for several years, and the local thieves have stripped all the wire (for copper) and plumbing (also for copper). It needs complete electrical, plumbing, a new roof, new flooring, new kitchen, and structural support in the living room (the owner at some point took out a support column in the middle of the room and put in 2- 2 X 10 beams to support the entire roof system). The windows are in decent shape, the walls are nice (plaster) and the general bone structure is good, but, $62,500... Really?

As the day has gone so late (it's almost 5:00) and I still haven't done much of anything, I'll post more tomorrow including an analysis of show sales, a review of set-up and breakdown, and some amusing highlights.

Set-Up at the BMAC--Day 2

While there are still a few minutes left in this glorious day, I am going to post. We did, indeed, pretty much finish setting up yesterday. We went back in this morning about 10:00 and puttered and futzed with Todd's work, the wall pieces, the tabletop display in the center of the booth, vacuuming, adjusting the lights--in short, everything we could think of until 2:00 when we finally packed it in and headed out. I have to admit, it felt really good to walk down the aisles towards the doors between the booths packed with harried, scurrying exhibitors who were trying to get set-up.

So this afternoon I worked a bit on my website. I got my on-line payment system set-up and configured for the new class payment processing. I napped. Yes, I napped. And now, with one minute remaining before a new day, I finish my glass of pinot noir and head off to sleep. Tomorrow is going to be another glorious day--beginning with breakfast across the street at Lil Pete's Diner.

Things Come in Threes

Good Morning Campers! I apologize for the long absence from posting, it's been a hard few weeks. Thank you to everyone who has sent me private condolences on the death of my father. I will be writing to you all individually, I have just been too overwhelmed up to now. This post is for Dee (even though she already knows the contents as she is right here--we're sharing a room in Philadelphia).

It's that time of year again and we're gearing up for this weekend's Buyer's Market of American Craft 2001 part 1 (part 2 is in Baltimore in July). The past 28 hours have already been an exciting rollercoaster ride--Here's to the hope that the rest of the show isn't "Interesting Times" too. The title of today's post about things coming in threes refers to studio disasters coming in threes, as so far this morning I have had to fix three doozies.

Disaster #1: Right before I left for Philly yesterday, the studio phone rang and it was a woman who wanted more information about the DealSwarm offer. Umm, the offer wasn't supposed to go live yesterday, it was supposed to go live today. Today when the studio is open so we can answer the phone calls from people with questions about the deal (we were closed yesterday as we were open Monday for Valentine's Day). Today when I have an article about our website clarifying the deal details. Today when we are ready. NOT Yesterday! the article is up, Judy is in and answering the phone, we'll see what we can do.

Disaster #2: I noticed this morning that my bank reversed a $3,000 check I deposited in my account on Monday. The check was from one of my business accounts to another so I know it was good. When I called to ask what had happened (I have checks to my vendors and service providers out against that money), I was told that there was "an erasure" on the check so the ATM rejected it. I miswrote the first letter on the payee line, crossed it out, initialed it, and wrote the rest of the check out fine. The ATM took it, credited me, and then a day later (apparently without a real person seeing the check) spit it back out. When I called to find out how they were going to fix the error, I was told I would have to wait for the check to arrive in the mail and then I could redeposit it. I very reasonably and extremely forcefully explained that I am in Philadelphia, it was their error, I do NOT want checks bouncing from Atlanta to Athens, and they needed to fix it. With Capital One or Wachovia/Wells Fargo I would now be in a serious frustrated huff and planning to move all my accounts to another bank. But the thing I love best about Chase is their customer service. They have given me a provisional credit for the check and when I get back to Atlanta and the check arrives in the mail, I can take it to the bank for re-depositing. Business will go on as usual.

Disaster #3: The question fields on the Date Night Reservation form on the web all got overwritten with a customer's data. So instead of seeing "Date Requested" you would see a date. Instead of being asked for your name, you would be told someone else's name. And worst of all, instead of having to read and acknowledge our cancellation, clothing and other policies, you would just see the word "yes". It took some time, but I got that straightened out too.

Now it's time to have some food, get to the show, and start setting up. Can we finish today? I sure hope so...

Alright Already, I'll Post!

It's been a week since my last (admittedly lame) post, and after being NAGGED TO DEATH, I thought I'd better post again. Just a hint, if you don't hear from me it's because we're HOPPING! Since I last really posted we got the new crucible glass melting kiln from Olympic Kilns and are up and running with date nights in the hotshop again. I also taught two FULL kilnforming classes on Saturday, finished and shipped the large cast awards commission (and cracked my Dyson shelf in half in the process), put together a proposal for a local homeschooling group for a day in the glass studio, received a HUGE glass delivery from Bullseye, and we began construction on the new kiln room! The old kiln room will be the new kiln-forming classroom and kiln-forming open studio space, leaving the front room as a 100% torchwork classroom and open studio space. Now if I could just get the online class sign-up and payment processing finished, I'd be ready for the hordes of eager glass artists.

I expect the new kiln room to be finished in a week or so, right before I head of to the winter Buyer's Market show in Philadelphia and just in time for the opening of a new wi-fi enabled coffee, pastry and sandwich shop in the little commercial shopping center next door to the studio. I am looking forward to working with its owner for our classes, dates and workshops. She is interested in providing fresh hot coffee and pastries for our events, and I am interested in: a) not making coffee myself, and b) supporting another little local small business. And speaking of other local small business, I hope to meet with a woman who is the choclatier and owner of a new business in Decatur this week. She called me in December and proposed being our new chocolate provider for Date Night. With the Valentine's Day weekend coming up and us being booked solid except for one slot, we need to get moving on this one.

Speaking of the Buyer's Market, I have been asked to participate in a panel discussion on "Outside the Box Thinking: Great Promotions" there on Saturday morning. I'm going to talk about our Date Night program and its impact on the studio. Got to get the slides into the Rosen Group today. If you're doing the show, please come to the panel discussion.

One last item to bring up; we're planning an expansion of the hotshop this spring too. I would like to add another smaller studio space onto the existing hotshop so we can run simultaneous date nights while still providing a quality, private experience for all the participants. It'll not only mean another space but also another annealing kiln, another glory hole and another glass melting kiln. We love Olympic Kilns!

Okay, I'm late, the studio is open, and I have the Date Night book at home leaving Judy powerless. I also have the power cord for her laptop (which has no battery) leaving her even MORE powerless. Got to get a new one of those today.

Posting

It's Wednesday night. I haven't posted since last Friday. Should I post now? Naw, I'm too pooped. News tomorrow--hopefully after we pick up the new furnace!

Snow Day FOUR

I sit sipping hot water, having already had my 6 teaspoons of melted clarified butter and meditated this morning. The steel cut oats with craisins just finished cooking in the rice cooker, and I will have them for breakfast in the next hour or so. The rice cooker will keep them warm for me till I'm ready, and I won't eat till I'm hungry--which will be awhile even though I haven't had anything to eat other than the butter this morning (and I drank that) since noon yesterday. Ah I love detox days. I have lost 11.0 lbs this year (since returning from Hawaii), and I am only on day six of the detox! I know the numbers on the scale are illusory, but they put a bounce in my bungee nonetheless.

Today, the fourth snow day in Atlanta, starts off with 20 degree temps, icy roads where not dry, and food at the grocery store again! When Dave went last night there were no fresh fruits or vegetables, no milk, bread, or meat other than pork jowls (shudder). The bakery was bare, and the deli had no rotisserie chicken or other hot tasty goodies. Truly apocalyptic. Today, looks like we're back to normal--I might even get my glass delivery today.

In the meantime I have plenty of Quickbooks data to enter from last year (my annual sales tax report is due next week and I don't yet know what my base sales from last year were... Ooops). Welcome to another fun January.

Just got off the phone with Roadway and the Atlanta terminal has a skeleton crew on today so my glass won't be delivered today. They HOPE to get it out tomorrow! Me too. In the meantime my website and plenty of paperwork await!

Snow Day Three!

I initially had great hope and optimism that today's would be the final snow day this week. But it's only supposed to get up to 30 degrees (it's 21 now) and then plummet into the teens again tonight so I doubt much snow/slush/ice will melt. But what am I saying? Why would I wish snow days to end? EVERYTHING in Atlanta is closed. We haven't had mail, the MARTA buses aren't running, and I'm pretty sure garbage isn't going to be picked up today. Our big grocery store (Publix) was closed Monday and open yesterday only till 4:00. Today they're open now and don't know how early they'll close. J had a playdate and sleepover at a friend's house yesterday (yes, I got out and drove--and I'm glad most of the Atlantans stayed in) and these past few days truly have been like a vacation for us.

A snow almost-week is the ultimate vacation at home! For me it's impossible under normal circumstances to take a vacation at home. Think about it--when you go away on vacation, you insert yourself into a new place and the only constant in your daily life and routine is you. When you try to take time off--time out of mind--at home, you still have friends, mail, all the daily routines of life except your job. How are you supposed to break your physical and mental habits and patterns so you can relax? But on a snow day or days, all routines are broken--whether you want them to be or not. And for me, the best part is that I still get to work--I just get to work without all the interruptions, stresses, and crises of my normal "job". What a great, creative week I'm having!

Of course my last glass order from Bullseye still hasn't been delivered--the freight terminal for Roadway is also closed for the third straight day so they haven't been able to get it out to me. But there was nothing I needed really urgently (I would have liked the opaline frit, but I can wait).

Today I'll work on the website for awhile this morning, then head over to the studio about noon to fire a few pieces, and I'll finish back on the website. Ah, bliss!

Another Snow Day

I love two snow days in a row in the middle of a detox! Dave never left the house yesterday. Jessie only went as far as the yard to play in the snow. I went to the studio and worked a bit in the total solitude and quiet. Today will follow much the same pattern. I already meditated, did my breath work, and drank 6 t. of clarified butter (it was only supposed to be 4... oops). When I finish posting I'll answer an incredible backlog of emails that I haven't managed to purge since before Hawaii and put together my piece list for the BMAC--I think I'll call Todd too--it's been awhile since I harassed him. Then a midmorning breakfast of steelcut oats and dried berries cooked in the rice cooker, and off to the studio to begin experimenting with the new work for the BMAC! I don't know if Roadway will be delivering my glass today or not--I'm betting not--but I'll be there anyway. I wish I had remembered to ask Lee to move the barrels of cullet from right by the back door as that is the staging area I need to the cases of glass. Ah well, they aren't moving in the snow and ice!

Haven't heard back from Bob at Olympic Kilns yet about the new furnace--I'm sure they were closed yesterday too (and probably today). It is very weird when the whole world shuts down and hunkers in bunkers around you. I can't remember any times in Montana or Chicago where we were holed up for snow for more than a day.

The last time in memory of an event that had this effect on me was when Mount St. Helen's went off in 1980. We were told to remain in our dorm rooms, all classes on the University of Montana campus were canceled, non-essential businesses were shut down, and people were told to avoid going outside if at all possible. My not-so-perfect memory says the ash fall (Missoula is about 400 miles east of Mount St Helens) kept us indoors and out of class for a few days. Too bad that was back in the non-digital days and my pictures are all hardcopy or I'd post one here. Of course the Mass Mind (aka Google) supplied me with a retrospective from the Missoulian--my favorite quote from which is:

"By Monday, nearly everything in town was closed, including the bars.

"We certainly had a lot of responsibilities making sure places were closed down, particularly with the bars," said Missoula County Sheriff's Capt. Greg Hintz, who was working night shift in May of 1980. "Beyond that, police work was pretty easy. The streets were just vacant." "

(Some might question the Business nature of this post, but heck, I say a natural disaster (aka "snow" in the south) counts!) Now I've dawdled enough. Someone just called and registered for a beadmaking class for this Sunday--a sure sign that I need to get the on-line registration thing working. Hmmm. Maybe I should readjust my plans for the day and work on it instead of firing--especially since I don't think I'm going to have glass delivered today!

Snow Day

It's a Snow Day in Atlanta. Schools are closed, my car repair shop has the owner in answering the phone and that's it. The Atlanta Roadway freight terminal is closed today due to snow so my glass won't be delivered till tomorrow (as a result, the piece from my new series that I need to make and photograph for my Buyer's Guide ad--due Wednesday--won't get done today). I am continually amazed how 3" of snow can completely shut down a city this size. I am betting that the businesses that are open today are running with seriously diminished staffing. Might be fun to go to Publix just to see.

Ah well, enough chatter. It may be a snow day, but I still have work to do; kilns to fire, emails to send, serfs to whip (just kidding--Judy's off today).

Simple Saturday

I missed posting yesterday due to a full day. If Ernie has his way, I'll miss posting right now too--he is either oblivious to the physical realities imposed by his mass (e.g., it is not possible to fit both him AND the laptop in my lap simultaneously) or he flat out doesn't care about the laptop. I'm betting on the latter. However physically improbable his presence in my lap might be, his warm, contentedly rumbling catness is comforting. A little comfort goes a long way right now. Last night when I unloaded the four 1" thick cast award slabs, I discovered that my firing had cracked my lovely Dyson shelf in half. :-0 I should have considered the ramifications of putting 2" X 2" vermiculite dams around all of the glass and the effect they would have on the heating and cooling of the shelf. Ah well, live and learn (and pay).

______________________________

After writing that small bit I fell asleep to the cat and got up in time to teach a beginning Kiln-forming class--taking in the first of the LivingSocial vouchers in the process. One down, 143 to go! Now I am going to rest and detox the rest of the day. Tomorrow I might do a fuse load, or I might take the day for website dev--or even do something family and non-studio oriented!

Settling Back Into the Groove After Vacation/Holidays

It lacks three minutes of 9:00 am. Not actually enough time to post and start the real day's work at 9:00, but I'll pretend. Heck, what good is it to be the boss if you can't set the work hours? So far today I got the J up (the most difficult task), made her lunch and breakfast and delivered her to school, and prepped for the cleaning people (you know--the cleaning you have to do BEFORE the cleaning). Then filled the car with gas and did the paper goods grocery shopping ('tis the season of Kleenex, doncha know). Now I have just under an hour before my first appointment to work on facilities scheduling.

I realized last night as I was working through the snarl of upcoming glass date requests that with our current loosey goosey system there is a very real chance of scheduling a bead date/class at the same time as a kiln date/class. Since right now they share a classroom and each fill it when used, that would be Very Bad. Yesterday when I talked with Lee about the upcoming expansion plans I put the new kilnforming classroom/open studio room on a back burner and prioritized the hotshop. But the reminder of the LivingSocial deal (and another upcoming marketing push for kilnforming) is making me rethink that schedule. Poor Lee-everyday, when he comes in, he has no idea whether his hair will be on fire or not.

Okay, off to schedule and plan. Oh, hey, and thanks Cynthia for the casting tips! I would like to talk to you off-line about the studio casting plans and BECon!

And the Process (Implementation) Goes On

Coffee in the Chicago skyline mug, "The Beat Goes On" by Sonny and Cher on iTunes in honor of the morning's theme. (Just a side note--wow they were young then!). Yesterday Lee and I spent a very informative and profitable morning with Bob Hogan at Olympic Kilns up in Flowery Branch and the upshot is that they are going to build our new melt furnace for us with a minimum of muss, fuss, cost, and time. Whew! One big problem down. While we were there I also talked to him about doing a small casting kiln for me--18" X 18" with side and bottom elements (maybe top too--any casters out there have opinions on that one?) and three zone (four if top elements too) temperature control. The cost is amazingly reasonable, and I have always loved the solid durability and reliability of my current little Olympic kiln.

Also spent last night installing, configuring and testing an on-line class registration system in Joomla. I purchased DT Register back in June and was a bit disappointed by the limitations placed on it by the integration with JEvents at that time so I didn't rush to install it when our new site went live. Last night when I tried again I was VERY impressed with the improvements to their current release (2.7.1). It looks like I might even be able to move the date night registration over to it and obviate any duplicate requests by having it manage the maximum number of participants who can register. It also sends out customized confirmation letters--with attachments (liability and photo release)--upon submission and allows for integration with a variety of on-line payment systems from authorize.net to google checkout to paypal. Definitely worth pursuing.

This morning I wrote and posted a quick article on the website about our furnace issues--that's what having a content-management-based website is all about--and now I go back to slab casting for the awards project and to plan the piece list for the BMAC. That's enough, I think. (Thanks, Dee, for the suggestions on how to juggle multiple crucial projects in the same day and get to all of them). I know I'll be back messing around with DT Register tonight. Judy is also back to work today for the first open day since Christmas Eve. I hope it's easier for her today than it was for me yesterday!

It's Just Before Dawn and It's Not the Darkest

A "Zack" (Kavarna Dancing Goats coffee with a shot of espresso) in my lovely new Starbucks Hawaiian bone china mug with the colorful hibiscus on the outside, the gently curving rim and the soft butter-yellow inside. "Moondance" by Van Morrison for the morning music. Dropped Dave at the train station--he's off to Austin--and now I have 20 minutes to collect myself before I need to get the Sprout up and off to school. In the hopes of feeling better at the end of today than I did yesterday, I am taking this time to plan out the day, i.e., blog (and maybe organize my Things).

The big items on today's list are heading up to Olympic Kilns to talk to them about building the shell of a glass furnace to our specs and building the rest of the vermiculite frames I am using to cast the slab award project. If I am really good I'll even get he casting load in. Judy's big to-do item is going to be to call everyone who has a date night scheduled between now and next Sunday to cancel. Then I'll need to refund all the deposits. *sigh*.

A couple of orders came in over the break so I'll get a start on them. I'd like to start working on the Buyer's Market work (making the list of what I would like to show would be a good start) but I have a feeling that what I already have on my plate and being a single parent are going to fill the day. I would really like to have a new colorway for this show--haven't done anything new since "Peacock" last February--but I may have to settle for debuting a new piece--the 20" deep bowl.

Okay, off to create and send out the Brownie snack list to the other parents in J's Girl Scout Troop and get the small child up and moving. She's still on Hawaii time so good luck to me with that!

Tuesday Has GOT To Be Better

I am afraid, no, make that terrified. My last post was Saturday, and since then my anxiety level has only risen. Usually anxiety can be managed by judicious applications of control and Prozac, but this time I am just not keeping up. I haven't had the time or luxury to make lists and plans or do any of the other geeky little tasks that calm me and give me an illusion of control over my life, my business, my fate. James McMurtry's lovely rendition of "Ruby and Carlos" provides a background to my fear:

Ruby said "You're gettin' us in a world of hurt.
Down below the Mason-Dumbass line the food gets worse.
I can't go back to Tennessee
that NASCAR country's not for me.
Go on, if you think you must."

Carlos packed his drums up in the dark of night
Ruby's standing just outside the front porch light
chain-smoking Camel straights
the sky off to the east got gray
And he rolled off in a cloud of dust.

And the gray colt nickered at the gate
She said "You're right its getting late.
You and me got work to do
we can't be burning daylight too."
She took down the long lead rope
and stayed off that slippery slope

The aspen trees were turning gold up top
The talk was buzzin' 'round the beauty shop
"Wasn't he barely half her age.
Well that's just how they do now days.
We should all had been so lucky."

By spring she'd had the run of the free born men
Ruby turned 50 in a sheep camp tent
her body still could rock all night
but her heart was closed and locked up tight

Potato fields all muddy and brown
the gossip long since quieted down

And after one more Coggins test
Pouring coffee for the county vet
Pictures on the ice box door
of Carlos in the first Gulf War
Black-eyed brown and youthful face
smiling back from a Saudi base

And then Carlos on the big bay mare
Heavier now and longer hair
Looking past the saddle shed
From way on back inside his head

And the old vet said, "One day, Rube,
that colt will break an egg in you.
Now and then one comes along
you just can't ride." And he went on home.

And the storm door didn't catch
It blew back hard as she struck a match
But she cupped it just in time
And she sent that ash tray flyin'

And holding back the flood
Just don't do no good
You can't unclench your teeth
To howl the way you should
So you curl your lips around
The taste, the tears, and the hollow sound
That no one owns but you
No one owns but you.

Carlos took the road gig and he saw it through
He rode the tour bus while the singer flew
Managed out of music row
Carlos never saw the studio
Session guys had that all sewn up.

He looks out the window and it starts to sleet
Laying on a friend's couch on Nevada Street
Lately he's been staying high
Sick all winter and they don't know why
They don't know why or they just won't say
They don't talk much down at the V.A.

And Ruby's in his thoughts sometimes
What thoughts can get out past the wine
He feels her fingers on his brow
And right then he misses how
She looked in that gray morning light
She never shaved like they all do now
He sees it all behind his eyes
and his hands go searching but they come up dry

And half way in that wakin' dream
Carlos lets the land line ring
He never guessed it was Ruby calling
The pin in her hip from the gray colt falling
Figure eight in a lazy lope
Stumbled on that slippery slope

And holding back the flood
Just don't do no good
You can't unclench your teeth
To howl the way you should
So you curl your lips around
The taste, the tears, and the hollow sound
That no one owns but you
No one owns but you.

I try to stay off the slippery slope. I'm turning 50 this year, and the introspection and life-weighing have begun already. Man, my teeth are clenched so tight, and I want to howl...

I wrote up my plan for the year on Saturday hoping that putting it down, putting boundaries and borders on it and evaluating it would make me easier in my heart. But it hasn't. Sunday was supposed to be a last family vacation day with no thoughts of work, but of course it didn't work out that way (just like the last day in Hawaii was consumed with issues of the ESPN filming and long LONG distance phone calls). Then today began as all workdays do with a deluge of phone calls, technical issues, clamors for attention and time, work left undone from days/weeks/months past... and I'm behind again/already. Right now all I want to do is flee back to Hawaii, or to Montana, or just to the couch with a box of bon-bons and a good book.

The hotshop is in complete flux with the furnace issues--new/rebuild/what kind/how much/when/who/how to finance it--and I just haven't been able to hand it all to Lee and say "This one is yours." Why? Because this one ISN'T his--it's mine. It's my studio, my growth/expansion plan, my responsibility, my liability, and my investment. As much as he would like to step in and step up, when push comes to shove I can't abrogate any of the above. Decisions made now will have a direct and consequential impact on everything I do going forward. Had I not just spent upwards of $900 on new elements, a new controller and a new thermocouple, I would feel less tight on the whole control thing for the new system, but I just can't get there.

I sit, almost in the pit of despair, and "Get Lucky" by Mark Knopfler comes on:

I'm better with my muscles
Than I am with my mouth
I worked the fairgrounds in the summer
And go pick fruit down south

And when I'm feel them chilly winds
Where the weather goes I follow
Pack up my traveling things go with the swallows

And I might get lucky now and then
You win some, you might get lucky now and then
You win some

I wake up every morning
Keep on eye on what I spent
Gotta think about eating
Gotta think about paying the rent

I always think it's funny
It gets me everytime
I wonder about the happiness and money
Tell it to the breadline

But you might get lucky now and then
You win some, you might get lucky now and then
You win some

Now I'm rambling through this meadow happy as a man can be
Think I just lay me down under this old tree
On and on we go through this old world of shuffling
If you got a truffle dog, you can go truffling

But you might get lucky now and then
You win some, you might get lucky now and then
You win some

Why this song comforts me, I don't know. Maybe it's because I can't help but feel that if I just keep pushing, I'll get lucky. I'll win some. Heck, right now I'd settle for I'll get caught up.

Is it okay to write all this here for anyone to read--to show such doubt and weakness? Heck yeah. This is what it IS to be a small business owner struggling with bills and employees and vendors and customers and expansion and websites and life in this very fast millennium. This is what it is to be The Owner. Yes, I understand now exactly what it means to say "The buck stops here". I always thought it was about the money, but it's so much more.

What Lies Ahead?

Fireworks and champagne at the studio started the new year for me. Are they harbingers? What will the upcoming year bring? Last year was... difficult, and from a business standpoint this year is set to be even more complicated. Am I exhilarated? Terrified? Both? 2010 ended in a rush of projects slipped in just under the wire, partially completed, and left hanging in the wind. Bookkeeping falls into the latter category as I haven't done any for either the business or us personally since, oh, March. Money came in, money went out. I did tiny window analyses of profitability on segments of studio activity, but what I wouldn't give for an entire *month* to do nothing but crunch numbers and plan the expansion for the year! Yeah, right. Time to dig out those big girl panties again, suck it up and do the best I can--I leave for the Buyer's Market show 46 days from today and that's only one reason I don't have a month to crunch and plan.

Instead, here on this fine January 1, 2011, let's jump to some big-stroke goals, plans, dreams, projects for the upcoming year--then back to enjoying a final couple of days off before the world, the week, and the year begin for real.

1) Equipment: This year--heck this week!--will bring a new glass furnace. With the last element failure in the current little furnace and resultant lost week (+) of date night and class revenue--not to mention the expense of fixing it... again--it's time to go new, maybe gas, definitely bigger. The little furnace--with it's new controller and new thermocouple--will be good back-up/secondary color or alternative glass pot. I also hope to add two casting kilns, another annealer and a small gloryhole. Oh yes, and 200 amps more electrical service to manage it all!

2) Facilities: Time to add on 1-3 new spaces in the studio. First will be a new room to house the big sister kilns and the new casting kilns. We're going to remodel the back deck--expand and enclose it with screens (kilns are just as happy outdoors here as in). Currently there are French doors from the kiln room onto the back deck and once we've moved the big kilns out through them onto the new deck, I can turn the current kiln room into a kiln-forming classroom/open studio area--which frees up the front room to be set-up full-time for torchwork. Second will be an expansion onto the back of the hotshop for another bench area, the second gloryhole, and the back-up furnace. Third is a potential splitting of the front screened-in porch into porch and additional front room (indoor) space. This process entails moving the front door and putting in front windows--and maybe an architect (not putting in an architect, just hiring one)--but I think we can do it.

3) Techniques: Time to add casting to the studio repertoire. I have two artists waiting for me to start casting their work in glass for them, and I want to both get good national instructors in to present workshops and to start teaching basic casting as part of our class offerings. Along with casting comes mold making, plaster and lost wax. Wheee!

4) Professional development/Personal Work: The almost two weeks in Hawaii and away from the studio gave me time to think about my own work and develop some new design ideas. I don't know if I'll have time to do much on them before the Buyer's Market--it'll certainly be hard to both make the pieces and to create the promotional materials for them before the show. Bullseye is also facilitating my creative process by hosting BECon again this year. I am very excited about the theme: Crossover: A Material Exchange. I will turn 50 the week before the conference and two weeks of professional development in Portland will be my present to myself (a pre-conference workshop, the conference, and then a post-conference workshop!).

5) Process Development: The Siyeh Glass website is coming together, now it's time to get the Siyeh Studio website of my work back up and tied into it. Also need to finally pull the trigger on the POS software integration for Siyeh Glass (supplies, classes and materials). Then there's the process for bookkeeping... A real business needs a real accounting solution, and I am *NOT* it. Time to officially hire someone who likes data entry and clean looking ledgers. I look at this hire as analogous to finally getting a cleaning person for our house: Once you've made the switch, you wonder why you resisted it for so long.

6) Staff: I am hopefully expectant that the new year is going to bring an increase in the demand for classes, open studio, and date nights at the studio, and I would like to add additional glassblowing and kiln-forming staff to our family to pick up the work. It takes a village, and it's also nice to be able to support a village. I am looking forward to turning over much of the teaching to someone else so I can get on with the next book...

7) Book 2: There has been enough said about writing another book that I don't need to go into it here. Book 1 comes out in paperback this year, Amazon has already dropped it's price to under half of list, and the publisher is really, really, REALLY interested in Book 2.

And there you have it--2011 at Siyeh Glass, An Intimate Urban Studio. Let's see how it all plays out.